


i want you for the world, i want you all the time

by strawberryfishz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji is Bad at Feelings, Akaashi Keiji is a Mess, Akaashi Keiji-centric, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Birthday Sex, Bokuto Koutarou is a Good Boyfriend, Bokuto Koutarou is a Ray of Sunshine, Bokuto Koutarou's Birthday, Bottom Akaashi Keiji, Cute Bokuto Koutarou, Fluff, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Smut, Top Bokuto Koutarou, University Student Bokuto Koutarou, he's very cute, it should be ILLEGAL that's not a tag, its mostly smut tho, its my birthday and I choose the kin character, like very light, promise rings, this is the longest thing I've ever written HELP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:47:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26530876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryfishz/pseuds/strawberryfishz
Summary: All the time alone gave Akaashi too much time to think. Did Bokuto miss him? Does he think about him in class? Playing volleyball? Is there something missing eating lunch with his new college friends? Akaashi knows he has a control problem, but not knowing is too much and it feels too strange to outright ask.Now Bokuto is set to come back to Tokyo on the 19th for his birthday, and all these bad feelings are consuming Akaashi.Bokuto is off in college, and Akaashi misses him a lot. Then he starts to question if Bokuto feels the same.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 20
Kudos: 308





	i want you for the world, i want you all the time

**Author's Note:**

> So I was going to post this tomorrow because technically fic takes place tomorrow but I finished it and I want it out of my drafts so.....here???
> 
> Today is my birthday, and when I found out Bokuto's was just a few days after mine, I needed to take action. Plus, Akaashi is one of my favorite characters and I relate to him a lot, so I thought I would explore his tendency to overthink.
> 
> I really hate the way it turned out, but I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Title is from _Pork Soda_ by Glass Animals

Life without Bokuto is odd.

Akaashi never really noticed how much of his day-to-day life was defined by Bokuto until he wasn’t in his day-to-day life.

It’s not like he’s dead or anything; they still talk every day. It’s just that he’s not  _ here.  _ He’s off in some university a two-hour drive (and a very long train ride) away, playing fantastic volleyball and making new friends. 

Without Akaashi.

And if Bokuto’s presence was overwhelming, Akaashi was never going to be prepared for his absence. 

It’s everywhere. In the hallway between classes. In the dining hall. On the metro on the way home. Let’s not even mention the volleyball court. The amount of times he’s tried to set to an absent Bokuto is embarrassing. Responding to a different captain is strange.

Life without Bokuto is strange. But it’s manageable. By the time summer came, he was used to it. That’s not to say he wasn’t overjoyed when Bokuto came back. They spent all of the season glued to each other, making up for all the time apart. He just wasn’t prepared for the hole Bokuto tore open when he left again Akaashi thought he patched. 

All the time alone gave Akaashi too much time to think. Did Bokuto miss him? Does he think about him in class? Playing volleyball? Is there something missing eating lunch with his new college friends? Akaashi knows he has a control problem, but not knowing is too much and it feels too strange to outright ask.

Now Bokuto is set to come back to Tokyo on the 19th for his birthday, and all these bad feelings are consuming Akaashi. Now he’s sitting at the train station, music in his ears, fingers wringing together, waiting for the next train to arrive.

He doesn’t know how long he’s spaced out, but the next thing he hears over his headphones is a bellowing “AKAAAASHIIII!”

He looks up, tugs his headphones off his head, and spots him.

Bokuto.

And just for a second, (maybe a millisecond. Or a nanosecond--it’s a very short period of time) he feels this rush of relief. Then he’s running towards Bokuto, who’s running towards him, and Bokuto scoops him up in a crushing hug and kisses his face and yeah, he’s okay.

They’re okay.

He clutches Bokuto’s strong shoulders, pulling him closer, and buries his face into his neck. He smells like the same cologne and the same Bokuto. It nearly makes him want to cry.

He doesn’t. Instead he kisses the skin exposed there and whispers a small, “Happy birthday.”

  
  
  


Bokuto is as himself as ever, which is impossibly refreshing, holding Akaashi’s hand and dragging him through the city. He talks on and on about uni and asks about Fukurodani and constantly reminds Akaashi how much he  _ missed him _ . He’s constantly pulling Akaashi in for a kiss on the cheek or the forehead that leave Akaashi grumbling how they’re in public (but giddy anyway). Akaashi hates PDA, but seeing as it’s his boyfriend’s birthday, he’ll have to let it slide. Whenever he tries to pull away, Bokuto gives him those puppy eyes that make his belly all fluttery and lets him cover his face in too-wet kisses anyway.

It’s like he never left.

He knows he can’t get used to it.

He lets Bokuto drag him into a lower level cafè. They both order iced coffee (since when does Bokuto drink coffee?) and Akaashi gets him a cupcake, and they find a secluded booth to sit in.

They don’t have a candle, but Akaashi still softly sings Happy Birthday in his ear, hooking their ankles under the table. On the final  _ you _ Akaashi leans over and kisses the corner of Bokuto’s mouth, and of course Bokuto turns his head to kiss him properly.

It’s the first time Akaashi’s kissed someone in the past few weeks, but it’s always so easy with Bokuto. He cups Bokuto’s face and tips his head, deepening the kiss but still keeping his lips closed. He pulls away, still holding Bokuto’s face, him looking down with his big golden eyes. Akaashi smiles and pecks his lips one more time before turning completely. “Eat your cupcake.”

Bokuto does, taking a big bite and then offering some to Akaashi. They finish fairly quickly, and then take the time to just sit, pressed against each other, sipping their coffees. Bokuto stands, offering Akaashi his hand. “Ready to head out?”

Akaashi studies the hand presented to him, then wrings his own together. “Actually, can you wait a minute? I didn’t give you your present yet.”

Bokuto’s eyes light up at that. “Akaashi! You didn’t have to get me anything!” He exclaims, but he sits back down anyway.

Akaashi rummages through his bag, then pulls out the wrapped box he stowed there this morning. “It was supposed to be your going away present, but I didn’t have the money in time.”

Bokuto looks at Akaashi with a frown. “Money?” He asks, pulling the box in his hand. “Is it expensive?”   
  
Akaashi shrugs, returning to playing with his hands. “Open it.”

It only takes one rip for the wrapping to come off, and Bokuto is holding a ring box. He looks up. “Akaashi….”   
  
“Open it.”

Nestled neatly inside are two simple silver bands. Bokuto gapes at them, not saying a word.

Akaashi is usually fine with silence, but this is too much. “I just thought you’d want something from me to take with you,” he says softly. “They’re promise rings.” 

Bokuto stays silent.

“You can say if you think they’re stupid.”

That seems to snap Bokuto out of his trance. “Oh, no!” He nearly shouts, and Akaashi looks around to see if people are staring. “I love them! So much!” He puts the box down to peel Akaashi’s hands apart, squeezing with a firm pressure. It’s nice. “I mean, how did you afford these?”

“I’ve been saving up,” Akaashi says. “The lady next door pays me to do housework.”

“But why?”

“...why does she pay me to do housework?”   
  
“What made you get these?”

Akaashi thinks for a moment. “I know this was a big step for you,” he says slowly. “And I wanted to get you something special. Plus, I wanted you to have something to make you think of me.”

Bokuto smiles. “I already think of you.”

Akaashi looks down. He  _ knew  _ that, he  _ knows _ that, but even hearing it come out of Bokuto’s mouth, it makes something in him ache.

Bokuto’s smile begins to fall. “...you know I think of you, right?” He bows his head into Akaashi’s line of sight, forcing eye contact. “I text you all the time. I miss you so much when I’m gone.”

“I know that,” Akaashi says, glancing away. “It’s just….” His throat feels tight. He feels so  _ vulnerable _ saying it out loud. “You’re so far away, and you have school and volleyball to focus on, and there’s probably so many boys and girls so much cooler than me, and--” He pauses, swallowing hard. “I don’t know, I’m just your  _ kouhai _ .” He says it like a fact. Because it is. “You have no reason to think of me.” The bad feels so  _ heavy _ , his eyes are stinging, he--

Suddenly his face is being grabbed, roughly forcing him to look at Bokuto. Bokuto’s eyes are so intense and so open and he looks so  _ sad. _ A distant part of Akaashi feels bad for making him look like that before his birthday, and he should have just kept his mouth shut (the part of him who knows Bokuto, however, knows that his boyfriend would be even more sad knowing he kept it all in). 

“Keiji….” Akaashi swallows again. This is the first time Bokuto’s used his given name today. “You can’t really think that, right?” He looks genuinely confused. “You’re so handsome and smart and so good at volleyball! How could I not think about you?” He starts counting on his fingers. “I think of you in class when I don’t know the answer to a question, I think of you when I’m at a nice cafe and I think, ‘Hey, Akaashi would like it here.’” He turns to fully face Akaashi. “Oh! And volleyball! You’re way better than our setter and you’re only a high schooler! No one else sets for me like you do!

“The point is.” Bouto gives him that million-dollar-smile of his. “I love you, Keiji. I’m always thinking of you.”

Akaashi stays silent for a moment. The nods. “It’s the same for me.” He meets Bokuto’s eyes. “I love you, too.”

Bokuto rushes forward and pulls Akaashi into a crushing hug, and he hugs back with just as much force. “Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear enough,” he whispers in Akaashi’s ear.

Akaashi shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry I didn’t see it.” 

Bokuto pulls back, but gently takes Akaashi’s left hand. “Can I?”

Akaashi looks to where Bokuto’s other hand is hovering over the rings. He sighs, “yes.”

Softly, Bokuto slides the ring on his third finger. Once it’s in place, he brings Akaashi’s hand to his lips and kisses it. The weight is lifting. Akaashi, in turn, takes Bokuto’s hand and puts his ring on. Bokuto pulls his hand back to gaze down at it. “I love it,” he says, barely a whisper. 

Akaashi smiles. “I’m glad.”

Bokuto pulls away, but still holds Akaashi’s hand. “So,” Akaashi says. He takes a deep breath and resets himself.

“So?”

He smiles wider. “How about I buy you dinner--” He turns Bokuto’s palm over. “--we can get a pie from that bakery you like--” He begins to trace light patterns with his nails across Bokuto’s wrist and forearm. “--we rent a hotel room--” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “--and you can open the rest of your present, hm?” If Akaashi is good at anything, it is (firstly, calming him down, but after that) riling Bokuto up. By the way Bokuto heats up, Akaashi thinks he succeeds.

Bokuto clears his throat. “You know I’m not forgetting about what just happened, right?” He asks. “We’re talking about it later.”   
  
Akaashi sighs. “Alright.” He tugs at Bokuto’s arm, dragging him up from the booth. “But tonight is about you.” 

With one last quick kiss, they toss out their garbage and head out the door.

  
  
  


Akaashi hates the word  _ possessive _ . It has a bad connotation, and is fit for insecure people, and Akaashi does not (usually. Today was an outlier) consider himself insecure. However,  _ possessive  _ seems to be the only word that describes the way he feels seeing Bokuto with that ring.  _ Possessive _ when a girl on the metro watches Bokuto for a moment too long, only to spot the ring.  _ Possessive  _ as it glints under the restaurant lights when he brings his glass to his lips.  _ Possessive _ when Bokuto puts his left hand on Akaashi’s lower back in line at the bakery, telling the whole world that  _ they are each other’s _ .

What a rush. Akaashi should have done this ages ago.

Bokuto insists on paying for the hotel room because Akaashi “already spent a fortune on him.” Akaashi tries to fight him on it, but ends up watching Bokuto show his ID and swipe his card. 

As they head for the elevator, Bokuto wraps an arm around his waist, and Akaashi spares a glance behind them. The way the hostess is watching them would normally make Akaashi embarrassed, but right now, he simply leans into Bokuto’s side. Once inside, Akaashi plants a kiss where Bokuto’s jaw meets his neck. He watches Bokuto grin and turn to give him a proper kiss. 

“I love you,” Boktuo whispers against his lips. Akaashi flushes. Bokuto’s been making sure to tell him periodically, and every time it comes unannounced, Akaashi can’t help the butterflies.

“I love you, too.”

They make it to their room, Bokuto fiddling with the keycard, and as soon as the door opens Akaashi is getting scooped up and carried into the room. He can’t help but bark out a laugh, “Bokuto-san, the pie!”

“Keijiiiiii,” the whine comes from high in his throat. “You called me by my name earlier!”

Akaashi sighs. “Koutaro-san--”   
  
“Drop the  _ san _ .” Akaashi rolls his eyes.

“Koutaro- _ senpai _ ,” he says sweetly, “please put me down so I can put this pie in the minifridge.” 

Akaashi laughs again when Bokuto’s face goes red and he’s dropped. He quickly does his task, and he hardly gets the refrigerator door shut before Bokuto plasters himself to Akaashi’s back. “Keijiiiiii….”

Akaashi hums as Bokuto begins to leave wet kisses on the back of his neck, hands coming under his shirt. Akaashi toes off his shoes. “Do you want something?”

“Shirt….”

He laughs. Usually he would wait a bit longer, make Bokuto form an actual sentence, but he decides to be nice. “So whiny,” he teases, tugging at his collar to slip his jumper off. Bokuto tugs at his hips so he turns around and meets his lips, Bokuto crowding him into the TV stand. Akaashi moans into the kiss, and Bokuto makes use of it to lick into his mouth. 

Akaashi parts to breathe, but Bokuto keeps kissing him, over his cheeks and then his jaw. Akaashi sighs contently, wrapping one arm around Bokuto’s broad shoulders, the other hooking around his neck and tangling his hands in his hair. He scratches lightly at Bokuto’s scalp and feels him hum against his throat. “You pick,” he starts. “Who do you want to….”

“I do,” Bokuto says instantly, and Akaashi smiles. 

He tugs at Bokuto’s collar. “Can you take this off, please?”

Bokuto pulls away to do so, haphazardly tossing it to be found later. Akaashi’s hands immediately grasp at Bokuto’s collarbones as he marvels at his boyfriend’s body. Akaashi thinks his own body is nice, but Bokuto is  _ fit _ . He’s gotten bigger since high school, whether from some growth spurt or more intense workouts or both, Akaashi isn’t sure. All he knows is that Bokuto has defined abs and big pecs and strong arms and Akaashi is  _ into it _ .

And of course, Bokuto knows it. 

He’s picking Akaashi up again from under his thighs, carrying him to lay on the bed. Akaashi situates himself against the pillows as Bokuto crawls up after him. His hand lays on Akaashi’s belt and he looks up to Akaashi’s face for permission. Akaashi nods, and Bokuto undoes it and guides him to lift his hips to slide the jeans down his legs. They get thrown off the bed by Bokuto. His hands are back on Akaashi, slowly sliding up his thighs. 

Bokuto is looking at Akaashi with those intense eyes again, and that coupled with the light touches is making him squirm. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Bokuto smiles. “Can’t I just look at you?” He traces a shape into Akaashi’s thigh. “So handsome,” he coos.

Akaashi can feel his control over the situation slipping, so he grips Bokuto’s forearms and pushes. “Why don’t you take your trousers off?”

Bokuto doesn’t relent, hands coming up to skim his sides, raising gooseflesh in its wake. He leans forward to press kisses against Akaashi’s belly and chest. He licks across a nipple, making Akaashi arch his back and let out a soft gasp. His fingers thread through Bokuto’s hair and he gives a gentle tug. “Koutaro….”

Bokuto flashes him a smile. “Of course, baby,” he whispers, and gives Akaashi’s pec a kiss. The name makes Akaashi’s heart stutter. He watches as Bokuto pulls his joggers down and kick them off the bed, leaving them both in their pants. He looks around the room, and then spots the other bag the two discarded. He retrieves it and then dumps the contents out onto the bed. A bottle of lube and a pack of condoms.

Akaashi snorts, picking up the lube. “Did you have to get such a big bottle?” He teases, turning it over to examine. 

“It was the smallest one they had,” Bokuto grumbles, making Akaashi laugh. “Besides,” he says, leaning over Akaashi again and grabbing the lube from him. “You never know how much we’ll need.” His hand cups Akaashi’s thigh again. 

Akaashi smirks. “You’re a dork.”

Bokuto smiles back. “You love me.”

That fuzzy feeling rises in Akaashi again. “I do.” He pouts his lip, and Bokuto leans down for a kiss. Akaashi hooks his arms around his shoulders, pulling Bokuto’s body down into his. 

He pulls away. “Now--” Bokuto pouts, so he pecks his lips again. “--if we can get back to the  _ fucking me _ part, that would be great.”

Bokuto flushes. “So crude, Keiji!” He scolds, but he sits up and tugs his own boxers down, offering to help Akaashi with his. Once they’re both naked, Bokuto is back to his light touches, tickling Akaashi’s hipbones, his upper thighs. “You’re so handsome.”

Akaashi flushes. “Thank you,” he whispers, and watches as Bokuto’s smile widens.

“So polite,” he teases. Akaashi hits his shoulder. Bokuto winces. “And mean.”

“Just touch me.”

“And bossy,” Bokuto adds, which almost earns him another swat, but then he’s talking Akaashi’s cock in his hands and it pushes the fight right out of him.

“You are, too,” Akaashi sighs.

“Bossy?”

“Yes.” Akaashi grins. “But you’re handsome.”

Bokuto smiles and leans forward, kissing Akaashi on the forehead. He gives a particularly rough stroke and Akaashi’s hip buck up. A small whine escapes his lips. “Want you.”

Bokuto kisses his lips, then pulls away completely. Akaashi whines again. Bokuto clicks open the bottle of lube and spills some onto his fingers. He rubs it between his fingers and his thumb. With his other hand, he begins to rub small circles into Akaashi’s hip. “Can I?”

“Yes,” Akaashi says, and that’s all Bokuto needs to coax Akaashi’s thighs further apart and place his finger against his hole.

It’s always strange at first, and it never stops being strange, when Bokuto touches him there. Now he’s making little circles, and Akaashi reaches for the hand on his hip. He gasps when Bokuto breaches him with one finger, slowly pushing it in. “Is this okay?”

Akaashi nods. “Just feels funny.”

Bokuto fingers him, slowly and gently. Akaashi bites his lip when Bokuto adds a bit more lube and then pushes in another finger. He’s moving with intent now, keeping the slow pace but changing the angle, searching for that—

Akaashi cries out as Bokuto grinds his fingers into that spot. Bokuto’s face breaks out into a wide grin, gazing down at Akaashi through his lashes. “There?”

“Yeah,” Akaashi breathes.

Bokuto hums. “So pretty.”

The word lights Akaashi right up, rushing to his now flushed cock. “Koutaro,” he whines.

“Yeah, baby?” 

Akaashi shudders. “I like it when you say that,” he whispers.

Bokuto’s eyes widen in surprise, but then his smile grows wider, if possible. “Oh?” He coos, and Akaashi knows what’s coming next. “You like it when I call you baby?” The word is dripping with affection, and Akaashi arches his back. “What about honey? Sweetheart?” The band that isn’t occupied is rubbing up and down Akaashi’s side, making him break out in gooseflesh again. 

“Or do you like it when I tell you how handsome you are?” Bokuto’s pushing in another finger, stretching him with three, and Akaashi is reaching up to grab Bokuto by the neck, pulling him down for a kiss. Bokuto replies swiftly, melting into it when Akaashi licks the roof of his mouth.

They pull back gasping, Akaashi’s toes curling when Bokuto thrusts in a particularly nice way, and he’s clutching Bokuto’s shoulders. “I’m ready,” Akaashi says, rubbing the muscles there. “I want you.”

“Are you sure?” Bokuto asks, eyebrows knitting together. “I can do a little more. I don’t want it to hurt….”

Akaashi smiles at his concern, cupping Bokuto’s face. “I’m positive.” He runs his fingers in his hair, scratching a little, and watches Bokuto relax. 

“Okay.”

Bokuto pulls out his fingers, making Akaashi wince and Bokuto kiss his cheek. He reaches back and grabs the box of condoms, ripping it open and pulling out a package. He takes one corner between his teeth and rips, and  _ god,  _ if that isn’t one of the hottest things Akaashi’s seen. 

Bokuto must have caught his surprise because then he grins. “Didja like that?” He asks proudly, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve been practicing.”

The mental image of Bokuto alone in his room, ripping open condom wrappers with his teeth, along with how  _ proud of himself  _ he is, has Akaashi laughing.

Bokuto frowns. “What?”

Akaashi shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says. “You’re adorable.”

Bokuto glances away. “I was going for sexy….”

Holy shit, how is he so cute?

Before Bokuto begins to gloom, Akaashi sits up and grips Bokuto’s forgotten erection, giving it a few languid strokes. “You can be cute and sexy.” He pulls the newly freed condom from Bokuto’s grasp and slides it on. 

Bokuto’s leaning in for another kiss, and Akaashi accommodates, laying back and pulling Bokuto with him. He hooks a leg around his waist and pulls him close. 

Bokuto pulls back from the kiss just enough to look at Akaashi’s face. Those amber eyes search Akaashi’s and Akaashi can feel his heart stutter. 

“Ready?”

“Of course.”

Bokuto pecks his lips again. “I love you.”

Akaashi can’t help but break into a smile. “I love you, too.”

And with that, Bokuto is lathering a bit more lube over himself and is pushing into Akaashi. One hand is holding the base and the other is gripping Akaashi’s. Akaashi screws his eyes shut, biting his lip.

“Do you want me to stop?” Bokuto asks gently. He rubs Akaashi’s thigh in an attempt to soothe.

Akaashi shakes his head. “Keep going.”

With a final push, Bokuto bottoms out, and he rests his face against Akaashi. “Relax,” he whispers.

Akaashi takes a deep breath. He’s entirely surrounded by Bokuto, his presence, his smell, his body, and it’s so overwhelming and so  _ good _ . He missed this, this full encasing. He threads his fingers through Bokuto’s hair again and pulls his face down into Akaashi’s neck. Bokuto kisses there before sucking a mark, and Akaashi sighs. “You can move now.”

Bokuto hums before giving a slow grind with his hips, drawing a sound from Akaashi. He pulls out just a bit to give a slow, experimental thrust. He continues the slow, shallow pace, and Akaashi grinds back down. A whine leaves him when Bokuto brushes a certain nerve. “Fuck,” he hisses. “Harder.”

Bokuto complies, drawing his hips back and thrust roughly. They both moan, and Akaashi draws Bokuto in for a sloppy kiss. He finds a rhythm of slow but hard and deep, and it’s driving Akaashi wild. He grinds right into Akaashi’s prostate, and Akaashi is gasping into Bokuto’s mouth. 

“There?” Bokuto asks.

“Mm,” Akaashi replies, pulling Bokuto closer, closer. Bokuto’s lips find their way back onto Akaashi’s neck. Something Akaashi’s learned about Bokuto; he loves to  _ bite _ .

Bokuto’s lifting Akaashi’s hips up for a better angle, a precise buck knocking the air out of him. He tightens his hand in Bokuto’s hair, the other grasping Bokuto’s shoulder, holding their chests together. Bokuto is so warm Akaashi feels like he’s melting under him. Between the heat and Bokuto’s teeth in his throat and his sweet spot getting unforgivingly pounded, he can already feel that tightness in his gut building. 

“Koutaro,” he gasps as Bokuto slows his hips, and he can tell he’s close, too. 

Bokuto kisses him, burying his hips as deep as he can go and comes, filling the condom. He continues to grind into Akaashi and parts from the kiss, using his free hand to push himself up and hover.

“I missed this,” Akaashi pants. “Shit, Koutaro, I missed  _ you _ .” He’s still wound up tight, his emotions and muscles pinched up, so close he could cry--

“I missed you too,” Bokuto’s whispering. “I’m right here. I’m yours.” He wraps his fist around Akaashi, giving rough pumps. “Come for me, Keiji.”

And Akaashi is spilling into Bokuto’s hand, legs shaking with the force. 

He leans back into the pillows, rubbing his hands over his face, trying to clear the spots from his vision. He’s only vaguely aware of Bokuto wiping his come on the sheets and tying the condom until Bokuto’s flopping onto him, laying his head on Akaashi’s chest.

They lay there in silence for a few moments, both catching their breath and basking in each other.

“Keiji?” Bokuto whispers into the air.

“Yes, love?” Akaashi replies, pet name slipping from his lips. He looks down to see Bokuto beaming.

“I’m right here.”

Akaashi stares at him, taking in his words. Then he looks back up at the ceiling. 

He’s right here. Not miles away at some strange school in some strange city. He’s right here, laying in Akaashi’s arms.

Yeah, Akaashi’s okay.

He nudges Bokuto off of him (much to Bokuto’s complaint) and, ignoring the pain in his backside, walks over to the minifridge. He returns to bed with their pie and a plastic fork.

“It’s past midnight,” he says softly, unwrapping the pie. “Happy birthday.”

Bokuto rests his head on Akaashi’s shoulder and Akaashi brings bites to Bokuto’s mouth. After every one, Bokuto presses a kiss to the skin of Akaashi’s collarbone as Akaashi eats a bite of his own.

They finish quickly, and as soon as Akaashi puts the container on the nightstand, Bokuto is pulling him into his arms.

“Thank you, Keiji,” he says, holding him tight against his body, and Akaashi curls into the warmth. “I love you so much.” He kisses Akaashi’s forehead. “Never underestimate how much I love you.”

Akaashi nuzzes Bokuto’s collarbone, resting his head there. “I love you, too, Kourato.” He feels his eyelids start to get heavy, and by the time he opens his mouth to say, “I promise I won’t,” he hears Bokuto start to snore. 

He laughs fondly, and feels himself follow.

  
  
  


He wakes alone. 

Bokuto’s side of the bed is empty, and he shivers with the loss of warmth. He sits up, thrown out of orbit. 

“Koutaro?”

He searches around the room for his lost lover, but all there is is the remnants; an empty pie tin, a deposited backpack, and a bottle of lube.

That bad feeling begins to rise again. Bokuto’s gone, and this time he’s not even sure where he is. All he knows is that he’s cold and empty and so damn alone--

The door opens. 

He watches as Bokuto, arms full, tries to slowly close the door. The door still ends up slamming, causing the both of them to jump. Bokuto spins around and spots Akaashi sitting up. “You’re awake,” he says, voice soft. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Okay, now Akaashi feels stupid. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “You didn’t,” he tries to say confidently, but his voice still cracks. 

Bokuto perks up. “Hey, are you okay?” He scatters his items onto the room’s desk and sits next to Akaashi. 

Akaashi swears he tries not to, but around Bokuto, he can’t help but crack.

He leans into Bokuto’s chest, a sob raking through him. Bokuto’s arms are immediately around him, squeezing him tight.

“I wo-woke-woke up, and you-you weren’t the-re,” he chokes, burying his face into strong yet soft muscles.

Bokuto shushes him. “I’m sorry, baby,” he says, rubbing circles into Akaashi’s back. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Akaashi just shakes his head and tries to calm himself down. Bokuto’s here, and he’ll be here for the day at least, and he didn’t leave without saying goodbye. Bokuto would never do that.

Now less upset and more embarrassed (that’s the second time he’s cried in front of Bokuto in the past 24 hours. If he wasn’t his boyfriend, Akaashi would be attempting to jump out the window), he pulls back and wraps his arms around himself. It’s then he realizes three things; 1), he’s still very naked, and Bokuto is fully dressed. 2), the stuff Bokuto brought is most likely breakfast, which makes him even more embarrassed for freaking out. And 3), he would very much like to eat breakfast.

Bokuto, the angel he is, just says, “I brought pancakes.”

Akaashi smiles, then laughs. He lays back down onto the bed. “God, I’m a wreck.” He opens his arms. 

Bokuto crawls after him, never passing the opportunity to cuddle. “I don’t think so,” he says, laying his head on Akaashi’s belly. Akaashi rests his hands on Bokuto’s shoulders, scratching lightly there. “It’s normal to feel sad sometimes.” He looks up at Akaashi. “I’m sorry I have to leave.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s just that—I’m never going to not miss you,” he says, then laughs again. “Look, I’m even using double negatives.”

Bokuto smiles and kisses his skin. “Well, I’ll be back before Christmas. Who knows? Maybe I’ll come back down for Halloween!” He smiles that billion-dollar smile. “And then, when you graduate, we’ll see each other all the time, yeah?”

Akaashi smiles back. “Yeah.” He sighs, then nods. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Now,” Bokuto says, sitting up. “Let’s eat some pancakes!”

Akaashi sits up after him, and watches his larger-than-life boyfriend get together their breakfast.

(Afterwards, Akaashi would see himself in the mirror and immediately scold Bokuto because, “Koutaro, we’re meeting your  _ parents _ later, I can’t go covered in  _ hickeys _ .”

Bokuto ends up lending him a scarf, and it’s soft and smells like him, and when they hold hands, Akaashi can feel the cold of his ring against the warmth of Bokuto’s hands.

So, yeah, Akaashi will be okay.)

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments mean the world to me!


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